Resolutions 2016 (as taught by 2015)

 

  1. To have fewer cats that pee on soft furnishings by this time next year.
  2. To make a point of always first checking whether all stray cats I let into my home are heavily pregnant or not.
  3. To persuade any kittens that stray cats have in the house not to jump in the sink while I am attempting to brush my teeth. Ditto, glasses I am trying to drink out of, showers I am trying to clean myself in and toilets I am contemplating sitting on.
  4. Not to pick up air conditioning units by the bit with the razor sharp bits. (Canadians: I come from a damp, cold, un-air-conditioned land. Why didn’t you warn me?)
  5. To wear protective hand garments, otherwise known as gloves, if ever again I decide to prune any other poorly looking bits of the one remaining, very spiky cactus in the house.
  6. To invite people round to the house more often, but to limit their access to miniature marshmallows if it looks like their intentions are to pelt hundreds of them vaguely in the drunken direction of each other’s mouths.
  7. To complete my Bryan Adams (pre-Everything I Do years) on vinyl collection.
  8. To not laugh every time I put bagels in the toaster and my dad is amazed that the “toast” comes out with two round holes burned in the exact same place on each slice.
  9. To acquire new soft furnishings.

Subscribe...

... for random wee, occasional letters from me!

, ,

No comments yet.

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: